Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
