i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
