My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She bit a glass in half.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize