my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
