I CAN MOONWALK!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
