Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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