The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
