Where did you get a picture of my penis
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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