Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Text me some of your sweat
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