I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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