My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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