Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
