I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So much rum. So many feels.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
