make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
