You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
