I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
