People in love make me want to vomit
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
