you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
