You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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