Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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