That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
