You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
