yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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