I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
