Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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