I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
