Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
