My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
