Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
