I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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