I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
