Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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