I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You just made me feel so damn special
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
