Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
