I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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