The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
