I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
