Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
