I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
