physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
