and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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