You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
