He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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