google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
