And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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