it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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