you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
