That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
