i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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