Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize