Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
