Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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