I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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