I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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