I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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