I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
