you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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