he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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