I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
