how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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