I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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