well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
