Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
